I have returned.

Hello readers. So I know it's been a long time since I posted and I hope everyone's had a happy New Year. Let's see. My year until June was fairly uneventful. I looked everywhere for a job and really had no success. In June, I went to visit friends and ended up staying with them for a month and a half. I had and lost a singing contract because the guy was in Lancaster and taking the train is not something I'm incredibly fond of doing. Oh. But before that happened I went to Braille Beats, a fine arts intensive in Michigan where we did all kinds of music theory, played piano, sang, and learned about sound. We also had an art class. I made a big paper miche horse. I also did a dream catcher and a 3D collage with things like crystals, shells, and stuff covered with celophane. It was fun.

After that, I stayed with friends. It was originally because I was getting my hair done. I was only going to stay one night. Well, then it became that my friend Martha wanted to take me shopping for clothes and get a manicure and pedicure and we decided that I should stay to help plan the next Basic. I was the chief of group leaders. It was a blast. I ended up not wanting to go back home and they said they liked having me there. They sold there house and I went back home sometime in August.

Around the same time, I stopped going to church. The reason why is simple. Something spiritual is something that makes one's light shine. If something dims my light, it isn't spiritual and it's time to leave. I was told at church that if I didn't hate myself, personality, and know that all the choices I've made up to this point were wrong, I couldn't truly come to Christ and be a new creation. Um, wow. I took the Basic and PSI 7 and the leadership class and continued to work on myself to get out of that program. That's what I'd felt two years before last when I was struggling with horrible pain and anger with myself. I couldn't go there again and certainly not when church is something that either convicts or makes you think or else it's supposed to feel at minimum peaceful. I guess I just became angry and really sad.

I know I'm interrupting abruptly, yet I am going to a memorial for a friend so I'm heading out to my Access vehicle. I'll write the rest when I return.
Leena