Friday, July 31, 2009

I'm Tired!

Hello everyone. The price paid for an exciting week is energy. I honestly feel tired. Let's see. Monday I had a voice lesson with Kristin where I recorded the second of my songs for the demo. I also went to A Place Called Home. That is a facility where they have an after school program for kids. From what I understand, the kids have had parents who got into legal trouble or are homeless or a lot of different scenarios and the people there mentor them and lead workshops. I was really excited about how much they wanted me to join and said I'd fit in any department. The volunteer coordinator was impressed because he decided to conduct the interview in Spanish and I did really well and could answer when he stumbled for a word and asked me how to say it. I felt so accomplished on Monday in general. That was really awesome.

Tuesday I was going to say I couldn't come so I could get some stuff done that has to be done between 10 and 3 on a weekday. Unfortunately, I woke up Tuesday with a pounding headache and having gotten almost no sleep. I couldn't stand it! I stayed home. I went to try to get my pasport and found out that I'd have to start over again. I relaxed and talked to Darius for a while. At 5 I had my interview with Seeing Eye. It was crazy! They called the night before going, "Can we come over tomorrow?" I was, to be honest, a bit annoyed that I didn't have more notice. I opened the door and instantly I was on pins and needles. The vibe I got was a little intense, but I get that a lot from people from the East Coast. It's not a bad thing. It's just more of an indication of a stronger personality. Many are dear friends, and I would be panicked if some were interviewing me for a position. Anyway, when we walked outside, I did pretty well except for switching the nature of two of the streets. I knew them; I just panicked. Is that proper use of a semicolon? I always have trouble with that one. Anyway, he said I could cross streets and use my cane and he could only write the facts. He seemed very brusque. After that it was Ruhi and then I took off for bed.

Wednesday was typical except for going to the eye doctor. I went and they told me to take some drops at home. I waited for an hour and a half for them to tell me that. Right after that I talked to Darius and then had nice, long conversations with Anne and David who I hadn't seen in a long time. Then I talked to Tasha and Cristina.

Yesterday was pretty cool. I had to teach first through third by myself because my assistant was sick. I got to host graduation though and that was a lot of fun. I got over my nerves pretty quick. I was starting to get really emotional because a lot of my closest friends here just graduated. I came home and got my ukulele! Woo-hoo! I start piano lessons on Monday and uke lessons the day before WLS. How awesome is that! Today's gonna be awesome too. I have four classes and then I go home at 3. After that, I'm meeting Anne and David at Miceli's. Anne works there and David and I are going to enjoy the music and food and company. Anne says I can sing something. Yay!

Tomorrow I'm going to Celine's house for a party. I'm staying until Sunday morning. Then I'm coming home and relaxing. I'm so happy even if my energy seems to be lagging. I'm tired, but this week has been wonderful and I'm sure it will continue. I'll keep everyone posted especially when I hear from Seeing Eye. Take care and have peace and love.
Leena

Monday, July 27, 2009

Past, Present, and Future

Hello readers. Today my task is three. I am going to update you on last week's events, talk about how I am today, and give you a forecast of what's to come this week. I have about an hour to pull this off, so here we go.

Last week was, as I recall relatively uneventful. I had a voice lesson with Kristin where we looked at a bunch of Broadway music because I'm a student in her recital coming up. That was fun. We went through a lot of music. I slept really well that night thanks to my all nighter Sunday. Tuesday was Ruhi as usual. It was also another all nighter. I hate those. I saw my last blog entry following an all nighter. I've never seen so many spelling mistakes especially with keyboard echo turned on with this computer.

Wednesday I had to skip Spanish/French again because of getting no sleep. I absolutely hate those feelings of being out of control and having no presence of mind. I just relaxed. I didn't dare sleep though until that night because I know what happens when I do that. Thursday and Friday were also kinda uneventful as far as I can remember. I know things happened, but my sleeping abilities all week were really screwy. I know that somewhere during the week, I ordered a ukulele. I had started learning at PSI and I want to try again. I want to be able to play something portable and easy on my hands when I sing. This is a lot softer and smaller than a guitar and it sounds really cool. I also remember downloading some new books including a Stephen King book called Needful Things. Apparently the italics command doesn't work on this blog.

Saturday was when I start remembering things clearly again. LOL. I went to sleep late, but that meant that I could sleep late because it was a Saturday. I woke up around 1. I know it's bad, but with my loss of sleep all week, it felt good. Well, that was after not falling asleep till after 5 and then getting woken up at 8 by several people calling my phone incessantly. *Sighs*. I went back to sleep for a good, long time. A friend had her bridal shower at our house so I was listening to it from inside my room. At first, I went on my Braille Sense to read some books. I was dressed for the shower, but I really am not a big fan of large crowds. I thought it was interesting that my PSI classes were both smaller than normal. I think the fear comes from just so many people who I don't know. I feel awkward when someone comes up to me and says hi like I'm a friend and I can't tell who they are. I also think of places like Angel City Chorale and think that I'll feel left out or be excluded. Well, I went outside and had fun with the women there. That evening, Tasha came over. She's one of my best friends and it's been way too long since I've seen her. It was really exciting. We talked a lot and played our role playing game. We talked a lot about boys and a little about school.

Sunday we spent the whole day talking. I did have a conference call for Blind Students of California which was interesting, but the rest of the day we talked. Last night I talked with my roommates and watched part of a movie with Ana. I slept fairly well except for Access calling at 6:30 going "Your time has been changed." Okay great. At least this time they gave me more notic. It was a good change too. I just didn't want to be awakened so early. This followed by the fact that Access has now developed a habit of coming 20 minutes early and ringing the doorbell until someone responds. I hate that! They did that with Tasha too yesterday and she panicked because she thought they would leave her. I make them wait it out until I'm ready to leave.

So now we're on to the present. Today I am very excited. I have so many things going on this week. Today I'm touring a mentoring facility to see if I want to work there. I have my guide dog interview some time this week. I'm going on Wednesday to consult about getting my eye removed. Yay! It's very painful. I am getting my ukulele on Thursday. And I might have a record deal. I was asked to audition for a competition with an original song. The winner gets a recording session to produce the single and a new wardrobe from some fashion group. I can't really say anything about that part because I have no idea. But a chance to record my song? That is brilliant! Well, that was the present and future welded together into one. LOL. That works too since at present, I'm so excited about the future. I also have another song in mind. It's going to be a ballad. What a shock! LOL.

Oh my God! I almost forgot! I am going to be participating in a study of this new device that let's blind people see through some kind of sounds. I'm a little confused still, but it sounds absolutely amazing! That should be happening in winter. Okay. I'm going to go because I have a staff meeting and I could spend another hour talking about how excited I feel if I'm left uninhibited. So, I hope everyone has a fantastic, exciting week.
Leena

Monday, July 20, 2009

Insomnia

Hello readers. Well, that was the only title that could possibly fit this post. Last night, even though I laid in bed for hours, I pulled an all-nighter! I was completely exasperated because I couldn't sleep. Then around 4 A.M. I started trying to figure out what was wrong. And with that analytical process, all hope of sleep was lost. Then it got better when Access came early and apparently really wanted to leave. The guy went kinda crazy. He got out and rang the doorbell twice fifteen minutes before my pickup time. Considering everyone else has summer, I was furious that the driver would just come ringing the doorbell at 6 A.M.! They're supposed to call or approach when I come out. I couldn't go to the door because I was not properly dressed. How frustrating. Oh well. I was out before my pickup time even though I felt (feel) terrible. I came and stayed in the dorms for an hour and a half. They ended up giving me some leftovers from breakfast because they didn't want to throw them away. So now I'm functional.

Saturday was fun. I went with my nana and aunt to an English restaurant which was really good for breakfast. I miss England. I was only there for a couple weeks, but I still vividly remember it. Anyway, they had to stop at the temple and I was worried that there was some service or conversion ritual about to take place. Next, I went to see the sixth Harry Potter movie with my uncle, his "girlfriend" and three of their friends. It was pretty cool. Then we went back to their apartment to relieve their dogs. Finally, we went into L.A. and got Chinese food before they took me home. I was pretty tired. I talked to Tasha and went to bed.

Sunday I hosted the worship service. It was cool. My friend Shushanna spoke and did really well. There were the occasional Access mix-ups, but it just wouldn't be Access without them. Then I went home and kinda relaxed. It felt so awesome. We played cards and stuff. Kristin creamed Ana and I at gin. Then we went to bed and I just lay there. I had a good book playing, but as I've told most of you before, the reason I hate audio books is that they make me fall asleep. That's why I use them at night. I still haven't made it through Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I've been trying and trying. LOL. Okay. So apparently I'm having a blank moment and can't figure out what to say. Oh. The book I was reading was the first in Circle of Magic by Tamora Pierce. Fantastic in my humble opinion. The audio cast is kinda cool, but I'd still take my Braille. Well, I'm gonna take off now. I'm getting ready for the staff meetingin about 15 minutes. I hope to hear from all of you soon.
Leena

Friday, July 17, 2009

A Week in the Life...

Hi everyone. It's great to be back! I usually don't come back more than once a week, but I've decided to make a special appearance. No real reason except that my work is done. So I hope you enjoy this.

Monday, as you know, was my audition. It felt really good. I haven't heard back yet, and rehearsals are beginning on Monday so I'm really quite nervous. I don't know that I should have done this, but I called yesterday to just ask if the show had been cast. Anyway, I sang "Edelweiss" and read a scene from the play.

Tuesday I worked even though I felt awful. One of the teachers was out so we got stuck with most of her students as well as the braille and study hall students. I came home and Ana and I played a Harry Potter game. Then we had Ruhi. I need to discuss that in later paragraphs.

Wednesday was another wonderful day of not feeling up to par. I came to work, but skipped the Spahish/French class after school. I would have had to stay till 9 o'clock! That just wsn't happening. I came home and relaxed. Kristin went to a meeting, so I decided to cook. It was just the basic soup. I got a bowl, opened the package, started to put the soup in the bowl, and realized too late that the bowl was too small to put soup and water in. The microwave would create a huge mess out of that. I continued thinking as I broke apart the pieces of noodles. Finally, I had a brilliant plan. I decided not to boil the water in the microwave with the soup. I used the teakettle. The bowl, however, was still too small. I thought about a regular cup, but I didn't want to dirty the bowl and a cup and a spoon since My-Key had just washed dishes. I decided to use a thermos I purchased a few months ago. I was originally going to take it with me to PSI 7, but I'm pretty glad I didn't bring something for tea and all that because it was too hot for all that. Anyway, the soup filled the thermos to the maximum capacity, but it worked! I won't say it was good. I didn't want to use the seasoning it came with because with the amount of soup in the thermos, the seasoning would have all clumped to the top. Yuck! I went to bed after that.

Thursday, yesterday, I relaxed at home after work. I had a few weird cultural incidents where a student was joking about me and I laughed and another student got offended. He didn't understand, and still doesn't, the real concept of the variety of humor in America. He also didn't understand that the joke was directed at me and I personally thought it was funny. I had asked a student if he wanted me to work with him and he said no. Another student joked about nobody wants to work with me anymore and I laughed. *Rolls eyes*. It was kinda funny though. I played a game with Ana again and we watched a movie that I've been wanting to see for some time now.

So today I'm a little tired because I had to get up at 5:30. At least I get out at 3. I also get paid today.

Well, I was going to talk about meditative stuff and my reflections and contemplations, but right now I have to go to a staff gathering. I will mention, however, because I'm so ecstatic, that my home interview for my furry companion is in two weeks. Less now actually. Almost one. The instructor is coming the last week in July. I don't have the date yet, but that info is coming soon. Peace and tranquillity to all.
Leena

Monday, July 13, 2009

Choices and Adventures

Hello everyone. So this last week has been a hard one when it comes to choices. Monday I told you about. The phone conference lasted a lot longer than we thought and so I had a late night voice lesson. It was part 1. The second part was Thursday. It was the find a good American Idol song lesson.

All I remember of Tuesday was work and Ruhi boo four. That might have been the day we were doing My-key's homework. I remember Monday containing a little Truth or Dare with Ana. Wow. This week seems for the most part to have blurred together. I must have been so excited about Denver that I wasn't in the moment.

Thursday is when I start remembering better. I went to work as usual. I taught five periods of class and then went for an appointment with the Vocational Rehabilitation counselor. I don't know why we couldn't have just spoken on the phone since the appointment took ten minutes, but I left work early so it didn't matter. Oh. And that was the day I was told I couldn't go to Denver. I decided to push the issue the next day.

So I did all my reports and attendance and tracking information and then went to speak to her. She's worried that I would just leave and they wouldn't have anyone. I still considered going and just telling her that I quit. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I, thankfully, am a bit more level-headed and thought about what I was doing first. I let myself really experience the shame I felt and the guilt and confusion because I thought that somehow I hadn't understood the PSI concepts. When I got home I really started to reflect on everything.

I started to wonder if this was something that didn't meet with my values. I wasn't sure until Kristin mentioned that the producers have creative control of your first album. Then I knew pretty strongly why this didn't work. There are several things. Maybe it's not even that it wouldn't work. I think it wouldn't work now because I haven't really been using my voice as well as I should. I have to stand up for myself a lot more. I also felt that my higher goal, which is to make a difference, to sing with inspiring messages, would be guaranteed if I wrote/recorded my own music and not something they picked out for me to be some kind of popstar. It's funny to me that my goal is to inspire people with singing and yet I resented being called an inspiration for a long time. So I decided not to go to denver. I would just stay in Los Angeles.

That evening I went to visit Joe and Allison for a teaching meeting. It was good. We had dinner, which was fantastic, and then we talked about the plans for the next teaching cycle. It was okay. After that, we went home and did medicine card spreads. That was a lot of fun. We learned a lot about ourselves that day. That night I stayed up until 5 A.M. filling out job applications for a music teacher job. I've been wanting to do something that works more for my passion.

The next morning I woke up to my phone ringing. It was probably 10:30. I didn't know that I'd somehow missed three people's calls and messages. I must have been dead asleep or something because I had found some calls in the "Received" section of my call log and I hadn't even answered them or known they'd called. My roommates had gone to an amusement park. I was supposed to go to Denver, so I wasn't invited. I stayed at home. I talked to Darius and Zainub, a close friend from Louisiana. I also talked to a close friend from my old masjid (mosque). I hadn't talked to her in years! I went back to sleep around 3. I ended up asleep until 7. Oops! My sleeping pattern was a wreck. Once again I was up until 5. At least I registered for classes and found more places to look for jobs. It was a productive late night.

Sunday was fun for me. We all had issues getting up for Sunday Worship Service, but we all came for choir rehearsal. Yay! It's been a long time. After that, we ate pizza and cake. My-key's brother had had a birthday so we got some of the food from the party they had. Then we watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and went to bed.

This morning, despite going to bed at a decent hour, I woke up late. The Access driver was really nice about it. I'm here at work and my work was done on Friday. *sighs*. Oh well. I'm enrolled in school. With that degree comes freedom. Oh. And tonight I have an acting audition. I'm going to Whittier to audition for City of Angels at the Whittier Community Theatre! I'm so excited! Well, now that I've written my novel, I'll let everyone reading go back to their everyday lives. I hope to hear from everyone soon. Peace, happiness, and love to all.
Leena

Monday, July 6, 2009

Salutations

Greetings and salutations to all. I'm back. Well, sort of. As soon as I got on here, I got some other work to do. Now I'm done. So now let's see. Last week can be described with one word: sick. Yes, that's right. I had a bad cold. Of course, it had to be when I was auditioning for American Idol. LOL. That's okay. A combination of that and picking the absolute wrong song resulted in me not making the cut past the first round. Wow. I'm really having issues here. I need to start reading more again. I just blanked on which form of passed (or past) to use! I spent that night at my grandma's house. It was relaxing, but I kinda wanted to be at home even though nobody else was. I wanted to be around my computer.

Wednesday I went back. That's when the runny nose part of the cold began. My supervisor kept asking if I was sure I should be there. I said I felt well enough and went about my business. I went out to lunch with everyone on Thursday. We had a staff appreciation lunch. It was really good. We actually had a three day weekend.

On Friday I was still sick enough to cause a problem. The good thing was I had my voice back. I left the house only once to get lunch with Kristin. Saturday was the fourth. I didn't leave the house. Everyone was watching fireworks on the lawn. I talked to Darius a lot and talked to Tasha for a while. I talked to Celine too for a little while. That was great. I talked to Tina, my buddy from the seminar too. Actually I just talked on the phone and watched a lot of the Jackson 5 movie.

Sunday I went to Sunday Worship. It was nice. I seem to be singing solos a lot when I go. Yesterday was one where I went with Kristin and My-key and Kristin and I both were asked to sing. It was really random. I miss the choir. It's been a long time since we've all sung something. It's been even longer since we've rehearsed.

Now for my plans for the week. Today I'm going to come home and have a voice lesson and a telephone conference. I'm working on when I can take off and do my pasport. It's kinda irritating. They only have appointments between 10 and 3. I wonder if there's a way to see if the one I had is valid. I think I'll call my mom. It would be great not to have to hassle with all of this crap. The rest of my plans don't happen until either Saturday or Sunday. I'm hoping to hang out with Celine on Friday and Saturday. Sunday I'm going to Denver either on the train or Greyhound to reaudition for American Idol. I'm working with Kristin today on finding good audition pieces. I'll either go Sunday morning or Saturday afternoon depending on what Celine says. I'm really excited. It'll be a great adventure.

Well, sorry it's not the novel people expected. I've got to go to the staff meeting now. Oh boy! I'll talk to everyone later. Take care. I'm excited! I'm excited! I'm excited!!!
Leena