Segregation

Hi again. Okay so I don't usually update twice a day, but this is really needed for my own therapy. Today I felt really segregated from society. Well, somewhat. Work was fine. I was excited to meet our new students and excited at the prospect of going to the reality show tomorrow. I came home and talked to My-key for a minute and then Kristin came home. Apparently, the car still isn't fixed. So we kinda talked and My-key went to do some stuff. Then her friend came. I think these people come from the same category. It's the I've-never-seen-a-blind-person-and-I-don't-know-what-to-do category. This one decided that the best thing to do was act like I wasn't around. Even when I answered the door and say hello he just asks for My-key. Then I let him come in and he walks past me and starts talking to Kristin. My-key introduced me when she got home and I think he might have said something but it was very quiet.We had chicken fried rice for dinner and then he wanted to watch this movie about Muddy Waters. So they all gathered around the laptop. I figured I could join them but there wasn't room and the laptop was so low that it was impossible to hear what anyone was saying. besides that, the movie wasn't very blind friendly anyway. Kristin was really making an effort to include me. She was describing things to me where she could, but since she hadn't seen it, the descriptions seemed confusing. I must say I really appreciate Kristin. She's one of those people in the category of people who don't care about whether someone is sighted or blind. The part that weirded me out was that, for the first time, I really felt uncomfortable being white. I don't really knw why. I mean, I'm the only white person living here and I knew that when I came. I don't feel weird at the baha'i Center or when I went out with the direct teachers group. I've never felt uncomfortable about it until today. And I still don't feel uncomfortable about it with Kristin, Ana, and Kahlil. I don't know. I'm really confused and horrified that that happened. During the movie, someone called me. I didn't answer it because it was a number I didn't know. They leave a message saying that I was no longer needed for the reality show. Needless to say, I was devastated. I tried really hard to watch the rest of the movie but I just got to a point where I knew I needed to make Access and that was a good reason to get out of there so I could reflect. I called them to ask what the reason was. They said that the network had decided to only use blind men. I got kind of annoyed and said something about having to change my cab. He called when I'd been on hold with Access causing them to hang up and me have to call a couple more times before they actually would pick up the phone and not ang up. He offered to send a cab and pay for it but I didn't want him to. He said he'd let me know later if something comes up but I don't know if that's a good idea. I'm very leary of people who change their commitments at the last minute especially for filming purposes. I just decided to stay in my room and play computer games and write in this blog. I guess I segregated myself. I just needed time to think and reflect on stuff. For the record, I don't mean to accuse anyone of racism. I was just mentioning my discomfort at being the only white person because this time it felt very awkward. Well, goodbye for tonight everyone. Peace, love, and happiness to all.
Leena